The iPod Shuffle Series
by DirtyZephyrAssassin
Summary: SO basically what I do is I put my iPod on shuffle, and write a one-shot based on whatever song plays. And I really DO mean ANY song ;D It WILL contain YAOI and is rated M because the songs can be a bit, heh, “unpredictable” :
1. I Don't Care

**SO! A new story thingy, hm? Yeh yeh 'bout time, I know :P**

**SO basically what I do is I put my iPod on shuffle, and write a one-shot based on whatever song plays. And I really DO mean ANY song ;D**

**It WILL contain YAOI and is rated M because the songs can be a bit, heh, "unpredictable" :) Don't say I didn't warn yoouuu.**

**DISCLAIMER: As much as I wish I DID own Kingdom Hearts, sadly I don't**

***turns on shuffle***

**----I Don't Care – Fall out Boy----**

Axel watched with irritation as Marluxia once again stuck his tongue down Roxas' throat while they were in the hotel lobby.

Demyx knew that look. He'd seen it about a hundred times. He sighed.

"C'mon Axe, give Marly a break"

"Sure." Muttered Axel through clenched teeth, "Which arm?"

Demyx just rolled his eyes. He, Zexion, Axel and Marluxia had been invited by Roxas to stay in the hotel suites, that his father owned, for the summer vacation. But they had hardly gotten to see Roxas at all because Marluxia just wouldn't leave the small blonde alone.

"Just go easy on him. He must really _like_ Roxas". Axel glared at Demyx.

"I don't give a fuck if he likes Roxy. So do _I_! Marly can go burn in _hell_ for all I care…hey, _that's_ an idea…" Axel trailed off, thinking. Demyx rolled his eyes at Axel, but he did have to admit that he really didn't like seeing Marly with his best friend. He would much rather see Roxy with Axel…Demyx grinned.

"Hey Axel…" began Demyx casually, "I don't know if I should be telling you this, but Roxas used to _really_ like you". Axel stared at him. "And how would _you_ know?" asked Axel questioningly, raising a perfect eyebrow at the blonde's statement. Demyx smiled happily, unfazed. "I _am_ his friend, after all". Well, Axel couldn't disagree with that.

Axel returned his gaze to Roxas and sighed, leaning against the wall near the reception desk.

"This vacation was supposed to be fun, and somewhere you could clear your head" Demyx reminded Axel, "And hel-_lo,_ we're in _Mexico_. It's the best vacation you could ask for!". Axel laughed half-heartedly. Demyx was right, in a way. He looked back at Roxas to see that Marluxia had left. Demyx followed Axel's gaze and remembered that he, too, had to be somewhere.

"Ohmygod I'm supposed to be meeting Zexy soon!" said Demyx, suddenly remembering. Axel chuckled. "Yeah, but keep it quiet this time, Dem. Your room's next to mine and I could hardly sleep last night". Demyx tried to pretend he didn't hear that, but his blush gave him away. "Uh, w-well, seeya later, Axe!" shouted Dem, and with that he was gone.

Axel sighed once more. In a way, he envied Demyx, because he _had_ someone. Axel, however, had no one. And the one person he wanted, he couldn't have.

Or could he?

Demyx _did_ say that Roxas used to like him, and it would be so _easy_ to burn that flower-loving _bastard._ But, if he did that, what would Roxas think?

Axel's thoughts drifted back to Roxas, who was standing by himself in the hotel lobby, looking like a lost soul. Poor Rox was so oblivious to his "friends" intentions. They didn't care at all about _him_, only about the amount of money he had. Which was a lot. They didn't _like_ him; they only liked the expensive gifts he got them for birthdays and Christmas. They didn't _love_ him; they only loved the exclusive hotel suites he got them for the holidays.

The only people who truly _cared_ about Roxas, and liked him for who he _was_ were Axel, Demyx and Zexion.

But of course, Roxas didn't know that.

Speaking of the devil, he was walking over right now.

Axel looked up at the blonde and smiled. "Heya Roxy".

"Hey Axel" responded Roxas gloomily. Axel frowned. "What's up, Rox?" he asked, concerned. Roxas stayed silent for what seemed like forever. "Rox…?' Axel persisted, resting his hand on the shoulder of the small blonde.

"I-Its nothing…" whispered Roxas, shaking his head. He paused. "Axel…I think-"

Axel stopped him with his finger against the blonde's lips, and leaned closer until their noses were almost touching. "Rox, I don't care what you think" he said, "Just as long as its about _me_".

Roxas stared wide-eyed at the redhead, then quickly averted his gaze. Axel mentally kicked himself for saying that out loud.

"Hey Axel, can I come with you back to your room?" asked Roxas quietly, "I need someone to talk to".

"Sure thing, Sunshine".

---

"I'm really sorry I haven't talked to you much lately, Axe", sighed Roxas, walking alongside the redhead, "Its Marly. He's very…well…"

"Controlling?" suggested Axel darkly. Roxas looked up. "Yeah…"

Axel exhaled. "I have to say, Roxy, I don't think he's right for you".

"Well then who _is_?"

_Me._ "I…don't know".

The two were silent as they walked, and soon they were outside Axel's hotel room_._ As Axel unlocked the door, Roxas glanced around nervously.

"I take it Marly wouldn't like this?" guessed Axel, making the blonde jump. Roxas followed Axel into the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

"He never lets me do _anything_" complained Roxas, frowning. To Axel it looked more like a pout because of his overly cute features. The redhead smirked.

"To be honest Roxy, you deserve better".

Roxas was silent for a moment, and then looked up at Axel. "I know…" he mumbled nervously, "I deserve _you_".

For a few seconds Axel just stared at Roxas, waiting for a TV crew to jump out and say he'd been punked, but nothing happened. Axel smirked then, making Roxas blush.

"I-I'm…I…Sorry" mumbled Roxas, jumping up and heading towards the door, embarrassed.

But suddenly he was pulled backwards and into Axel's arms. He chuckled at the small blonde.

"I thought I'd _never_ hear you say that".

---

Axel smiled to himself at the blonde sleeping next to him in bed. A dream come true.

Suddenly there was a loud impatient banging at the door, and the previously sleeping blonde was now sitting bolt upright.

"Axel" came an angry voice from behind the door. Axel sat up at the sound of his name. Roxas fell out of bed, trying desperately to find his clothes. "I-Its Mar…shit" he muttered, pulling on some boxers. Axel lazily got out of bed and pulled on his own boxers, then walked to the door.

"Who is iiiiit?" he called cheerily, making Roxas gape at him.

"Axel, no! Don't open the door!" he whispered frantically, still wearing only boxers.

"It's Marluxia. You wouldn't happen to have seen Roxas around, would you?"

Roxas froze at the sound of Marluxia's voice. Axel just chuckled.

"Actually, I have" said Axel, turning to Roxas, "In fact, I see him right now".

Roxas looked horrified, and Axel looked like he was going to burst out laughing at any second. For a moment there was silence, and then…

"AXELYOUFUCKINGBASTARDOPENTHEFUCKINGDOORSOICANRIPOUTYOURFUCKINGGUTSYOUSONOFABITCHGETTHEFUCKOUTHEREROXASISMINEYOUFUCKINGWANKERIMGONNA-" Marluxia was cut off when Axel swung the door open and punched him in the face, sending him flying backwards against the opposite wall.

"Tsk Tsk. Language, Marly, language"

* * *

**So there you go. I know it was short and pretty crap, but you know, I tried :P**

**So yeah, well tell me what you think? Love it? Hate it? TELL ME! R&R!**

**Click that button below.**

**Please? :)**


	2. Barbie

**For some unknown reason I wrote this :P**

**I don't know why, but I did.**

**Well it's on my iPod anyway, so…Heh**

**Anyway, if you're wondering, it's Sora, singing the slightly altered version of the Barbie Girl song by Aqua, when he hears a rumour that Riku is dating Kairi ;D**

* * *

-iplaydestructionbarbie-

_Kairi's such a bitch_

_She is just a witch!_

_I really hate her_

_Why would Riku date her?_

_Riku's such a man_

_I'd do all I can_

_Just to do him (yes)_

_I just wanna screw him_

_(She's such a bitch I wanna scratch her eyes out)_

_I have dreams about him_

_Being inside by den_

_And we hold and we kiss_

_Like we're sweethearts_

_But that Kairi's a slut_

_With her cute little butt_

_And I guess Riku likes boobs_

_Made of plastic_

_And I cry, everyday_

_Cause' straight up that bitch is in my way!_

_Kairi's such a bitch_

_She is just a witch!_

_I really hate her_

_Why would Riku date her?_

_Riku's such a man_

_I'd do all I can_

_Just to do him _

_I wanna screw him_

_When I see her, I will knee her_

_(oo-ooo-oo-yeah)_

_I will punch her and I'll crunch her)_

_(Ohhhh, Oh yes)_

Riku: Hey Sora

Sora: Hey Riku!

Riku: Look whose over there!

Sora: Well if it isn't Kairi! Yay the rumours aren't true!…but still…

Riku: Hey Kairi it's us! Come over here…Look

Sora: Right over here missy!

*kick*

*punch*

Take that you little slut!

*punch*

You hooker!

*kick*

You bitch!

*kick*

*punch*

'Scratch your eyes out!

*Kairi lays unconscious on ground*

Sora: Oh uh Sorry

Riku: Let's just get the hell outta here.

-thejavalikesyouandthejavalikeme-

* * *

**AUTHOR NOTE: Well, uh, yeah that was pretty random. Anyway, next time I put my iPod on shuffle, I'll at least TRY to write a decent one-shot :D**

**I'm actually kind of writing like three stories at once soooo…yeah.**

**And tell me this; Do you like cookies? If so, what sort?**

**(random question, I know)**

**Pleasey click below?**


	3. Witch Doctor

**The iPod Shuffle Series**

**Witch Doctor – Alvin and the Chipmunks**

**Don't ask **_**why**_** I have this on my iPod. I just do.**

**This chapter contains:**** Cleon, Yuffie being weird, a rod in the roof, Yaoi, a secret plan, and some corny lyrics :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Apple or (sadly) Cloud. I DO however own an iPod. And this story, of course :D**

* * *

_-alvinsimontheodore-_

Cloud sat on the couch with Yuffie, absently watching the TV. Yuffie tilted her head and waved a hand in front of her friend's face, getting no response. She frowned and got up to stand in front of Cloud, catching his attention.

"Hey Cloudo, you're more distracted than usual" she said, still frowning, "What up?"

Cloud smiled at his friend's concern, but his smile soon faded.

"Wait, wait! Don't tell me…it's Leon, isn't it?" guessed Yuffie.

"Yeah…" admitted Cloud, sighing and leaning back into the couch. Yuffie nodded knowingly, and then grinned. "I have _just_ the solution!" she exclaimed, "Wait here!", and then she disappeared. The blonde sat on the couch, confused as ever, and jumped when he heard a loud crash from Yuffie's room. Whatever his friend was doing, he was pretty sure it wouldn't help him confess his feelings to Leon. That was what was troubling him. He and Leon had been friends since they were kids, and he didn't want to ruin that, but he just couldn't ignore his feelings for the brunette. He _wanted _to tell him, but was afraid that Leon wouldn't feel the same way, or even worse, never want to talk to him again. He would rather have Leon just as a friend than not at all.

"Okay!" shouted Yuffie, breaking Cloud from his thoughts. He turned and his jaw dropped. "Your prayers have been answered, young one! For I am…the WITCH DOCTOR!" bellowed Yuffie in a deep voice, stroking a fake beard (where the hell did she even _get_ that?!). Cloud watched the girl with disbelief as she came to stand in front of him. She seemed to have some sort of fabric (a curtain, perhaps?? Draped around her, and was holding a curtain rod like it was a staff. There were streaks of green stuff on her arms and face, and she was wearing a red lampshade on her head. Cloud stared at her, laughing.

"Yuffie, what the _hel_-" he started, but was silenced when she threw a pillow at him.

"Silence!" exclaimed Yuffie, "I do not know of this…_Yuffie_ person. I am the WITCH DOCTOR!". She threw her curtain rod up into the air, chanted some gibberish, and held her hand out to catch it, but it didn't come down. She and Cloud glanced up to see half a curtain rod sticking out of a hole in the ceiling.

"Oops" mumbled Yuffie, then directed her thoughts back to the blonde. "Tell me!" she said loudly, "What is it that is bothering you!?".

Cloud just stared at her, dumbfounded, glancing up at the hole in the ceiling every now and again with concern. Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Tell me!" she commanded once more. Cloud decided to go along with it.

"I love Leon, but I don't think he loves me back! What ever shall I do?" wailed Cloud, wiping a fake tear away. Yuffie stroked her fake beard (which was really starting to creep Cloud out), then cried out in inspiration, making Cloud jump. "Ahhah! I know just what to do!".

And with that, she started to get jiggy.

"Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ahah to the ting to the tang the wallawalla bingbang!

Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ahah ting tang wallawalla bingbang!" she sang, flailing her arms and dancing around the room like she was on crack. Cloud sat on the couch laughing his ass off.

All of a sudden, Yuffie stopped. "It is done! Now go! Tell him!" she commanded Cloud.

"What!? I-I can't!" stammered Cloud, taken by surprise. Yuffie adjusted her lampshade. "Go. Now!" she yelled, advancing on him with an evil glint in her eye. Cloud couldn't argue with that. He ran out the front door and disappeared.

_-yoDJpumpthisparty-_

Cloud's fist hovered in the air, just inches from Leon's front door. What was he doing? He didn't even know what he was going to say. He was just about to turn around and leave when the door opened, revealing a tall brunette clad in all leather.

"Oh! L-Leon! I-I…uh…I was just about to knock-"explained Cloud, but Leon cut him off.

"Actually, I was just about to come and see _you_" said Leon, then smirked, making the blonde blush. A smaller brunette appeared next to Leon, wearing similar attire to that of Yuffie's witch doctor costume. He smiled happily. "Heya Cloudo!"

Cloud eyed the costume wearily. "Hey Sora". Said brunette pushed his older brother forward, making him bump into Cloud who, in turn, blushed furiously. Seeing the blonde's heated cheeks, Leon smirked.

"I hear that you've been keeping love from me, and that's not very smart" he said in a husky voice, causing Cloud to gape at him, "So I went and found myself someone who'd tell me how to win your heart". Cloud stared at Leon, incredulous, and then a smile crept onto his face.

"My friend the witch doctor, she told me what to do. And I know you'll be mine when…" paused Cloud, self-conscious but moving closer to Leon nevertheless. He looked up into Leon's gray, stormy eyes, and Leon looked back into his blue.

"W-When I say" whispered Cloud, "I love you". The blonde pressed a chaste kiss on Leon's lips, but the brunette had other ideas. As Leon pulled Cloud into a deeper kiss, Sora looked into the front yard to see Yuffie jump out of some bushes with a thumbs up. Mission accomplished.

_-itoldthewitchdoctoryoudidntlovemetrue-_

* * *

**Well, there you have it. Random, I know. And the fluff at the end gave me tooth decay, but still. I typed this at midnight, so it's an accomplishment for me! Anyway, I have school tomorrow, soooo I'd better go to bed. Please R&R! :D Nighty Night!**


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